NFL WEEK 2 SPITBALL PICKS
Whatever you do today, if you haven’t yet this week, I implore you to pay your respects to the most brilliant and devastatingly funny degenerate gambler the world has ever known. RIP Norm Macdonald.
“They call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.”
Well that went well…
The Spitball crew put up an embarrassing Week One performance to get ourselves started for the season, going a combined 0-10 (yes, you read that right) 0-10! for a whopping total of zero points on the week. Disgusting, putrid and unbecoming, if you ask me. The belligerents here at Spitball Pub, as you know by now, are committed perhaps not to excellence, but winning you money. So long as you bet against, we gave out winners all day long last Sunday. Welcome to the spin zone, season starts today boys and girls.
- Brian Jennings
Nick’s Picks (0-5 W1, 0-5 2021, 0 POINTS)
5 POINT PLAY - Los Angeles Rams -3.5 @ Indianapolis Colts
This is a huge game for the Rams. They looked like a real good football team last week and McVay with a guy that has the ability to sling it like Stafford is a lot of fun. Rams upcoming schedule is tough, this is a must win for them. Tough draw for Indy starting 0-2z
4 POINT PLAY - Cincinnati Bengals +1.5 @ Chicago Bears
I don’t like the Bears with Dalton starting. No part of me believes in that team. Justin Fields did hit the field for a few big snaps including the rushing TD in week 1. However, as long as Dalton is under center I don’t love this team. I also really liked what I saw out of Cincinnati last week.
3 POINT PLAY - New York Jets + 6 vs. New England Patriots
Will I EVER learn? I mean come on, 6 POINTS?! It’s a Jets home game and home opener for crying out loud. Saleh will have the boys absolutely JUICED. The second half of last week the Jets looked really solid on both sides of the ball. Expect better play calling, and I think the Jets win outright.
No, I will never learn.
2 POINT PLAY - Minnesota Vikings @ Arizona Cardinals OVER 50.5
Another thing I’m addicted to is Cardinals overs. Kyler is absolutely electric. Weapons everywhere, everything about that offense looks good. And there’s talent on the other side for Minnesota as well. Could’ve easily been my 5 point play but I got crushed on the Cards/Titans over last week.
1 POINT PLAY - Baltimore Ravens +3.5 vs. Kansas City Chiefs
That 1/2 a point man. This game is gonna be a war. Part of me thinks Baltimore will win. But another part of me knows Mahomes in September. I think this game stays within a field goal. Both teams love prime time. Buckle up, this one will be fun.
Brian’s Picks (0-5 W1, 0-5 2021, 0 POINTS)
5 POINT PLAY - Tennessee Titans +6.5 @ Seattle Seahawks
Like a rookie QB, a handicapper’s best friend is a short memory. After an ugly, cataclysmic start to the season at 0-5, the only way to wake up this morning is draw the shades, grind some film and remind ourselves the season starts today. Like your humbled prognosticator, Mike Vrabel’s Tennessee Titans have to wake up in Seattle this morning wanting this one more than their opponent. Titans OT Taylor Lewan rightly called his and the team’s performance embarrassing against Arizona last week, and I expect a very talented team to come to work hungry this afternoon. The Titans being a TD underdog in this spot seems like a massive overreaction to a bad week one.
4 POINT PLAY - Pittsburgh Steelers -6 vs. Las Vegas Raiders
It’s become something of a square play to fade the west coast road team in a 1 PM game, as teams in the Raiders position have gone 26-13 ATS over the past three seasons. Like in all facets of the game, standards and trends don’t apply to Jon Gruden and the Raiders, who still sit comfortably under .500 (3-8) in 1 PM EST games. Adding in the fact that Vegas is on a short week and they will be without OL Richie Incognito, this one feels like a fairly easy win for the black & yellow.
3 POINT PLAY - Arizona Cardinals -3.5 vs. Minnesota Vikings
Kyler Murray and the Cardinals offense put the league on notice last week, absolutely torching a solid Titans defense while their own D ran roughshod over one of the league’s best offensive units. This week the Cards are home and facing what looked like one of the league’s worst passing defenses against Joe Burrow and Cincinnati last week. The Vikings offense may hang around, but I expect Arizona to score at will today.
2 POINT PLAY - Miami Dolphins +3.5 vs. Buffalo Bills
Let’s get one thing straight, the world is underrating the Dolphins. The tale of the tape looks something like this: Miami is coming off a hard-fought road win against a team that Vegas and the public believes is worthy of being a 6-point (ROAD) favorite today, whereas the Bills are coming off a sloppy, disjointed home loss against a team they were 6-point favorites to beat themselves. Naturally, that would lead you to a line where the road 0-1 Bills would be favorites against their 1-0 divisional rival Dolphins… Long term, I still think Buffalo is a good team, but don’t be shocked if they start 0-2 after today.
1 POINT PLAY - Cincinnati Bengals @ Chicago Bears OVER 44.5
Every narrative in this game feels like points. Joe Burrow and Ja’Marr Chase hitting the ground running? Points. The Bengals O-Line could actually block for Joe Mixon? Points. David Montgomery is still a stud? Points. Andy Dalton revenge game/fighting for his life as a starting QB? Points…? “Justin Fields will be taking on a larger role in the offense this week,” I’m sold.